i am convinced that my best friends are psychos.cheryl :~ P$YCHO "...I was eighteen & he was twenty-two. But it was a disaster. He swallowed my entire mouth!"~ says:
Does my nick make me sound like I just lost my first kiss?
me: YAH
me: but i know u didn't lah
me: u've lost it already to me.
cheryl: Mmmm...
cheryl: ...mmm...
cheryl: ...mmm.
cheryl: Well
cheryl:Well, well, well.
cheryl:Should I tell, or should I not?
cheryl:I tell you. This is another big decision
cheryl:To tell or not to tell
me: if u did,then you did.high time you did too!
cheryl:All lesbian jokes aside, do you really wanna know?
cheryl:Because...
me: anyway i know u'd have called me to tell me
cheryl:...haha
cheryl:...I won't
cheryl:Because you will blog about it,and Pris reads, and she will tell Chris.and i will be in BIG trouble.
me:crazy that means u had sex too and u didn't tell me
cheryl:Some things...you should not tell any old person. Sex for example.
me:OKAY CUT TO THE CHASE BABE. I'VE GOT TENNIS.
cheryl:If I tell you I trust you not to blog about it because it is more personal
me:ok hurry man hurry
cheryl:Well...it was rather stressful.And I felt my emotions runnig high & low
me:i teeeeelll...if you continue taking your own sweet time
cheryl:And I thought I wouldn't get past it
me: I WILL USE MY TENNIS RACKET AND WHACK THE BALL TO SMASH THE MONITOR
cheryl:But in the end...
cheryl:I got my script typed out & sent!Hahahaha!That was a line from my script!
so i cannot trust cherry to tell me everything when i tell her
EVERYTHING. prissy baby now we know. we cannot listen to her nonsense. if she calls you, don't pick up, if she texts you, don't read and please delete it immediately, and if she IM's you, block her okay!
i've successfully revamped my eating habits. while cramming lit and econs with libby today, we snacked on fresh papaya and watermelon and honeydew juice. and on the side we sneaked in chocolate chip cookies,cinnamon sugar pretzels,beef bulgogi and yong tau foo. my eating plans just need a wee bit more tweaking.
me: saranghae ksw...-swoons dreamily-
mervyn: Unrequited love can lead to feelings such as depression, anxiety, and mood swings such as swift changes between depression and euphoria.oh thats right...
me: don't rain on my parade okay?
me: i'll kick puddly-poo jigglywinks aside anyday for ksw.
for my dearest libby who's convinced they make the cutest couple ever. but he's MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE, and yours, and lydia's.
now tell me, who can resist
KWON SANG WOO? WHO?
libby: you're not being very loyal to KSW.
me: no way am i giving him up!
so maybe, just him.
and tomorrow spells the end for you and i. the nights of gasping,grabbing wildly at nothingness in the crisp cool air of the night and tears streaking down my face will fade. unless you choose to change everything.
and i don't know where to begin. i'm at a utter loss for words. i don't know where to start, what to say. but when i've said my piece, all will be gone.
and i hope you'll change everything.just maybe.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`4:33 AM]
-
Monday, August 29, 2005
i'm feeling incredibly oppressed.
a: are you okay? you're looking worn out and you sound tired too. and you're not eating well are you. are you working very hard? too many assignments? do you want me to come back?
me: -blankly- hmm? yeah just a lil tired. nah i've quit. i only accept assignments from clients that im close to now.
a: take care of yourself. you sound really washed out these days. and study hard okay sweetheart? i want you to make it to king's.remember the applications.
me: ungggh. -incoherent strangled/depressed/in denial sounds escape- yeah...alright baby i'm making notes on college admissions now. don't worry i won't forget.
a: remember our deal babe. i'll try to come back to help you out.
applications are opening in sept for various colleges im applying to. i either use my SATS, 3 SAT II subjects in addition to my SAT I's, or my prelims on a conditional basis, and an audition and interview.
nothing freaks me out more than the requirements set for Law in King's. and maybe the Yong Siew Toh Conservatory.
at the rate my revision is going, i'll probably end up nowhere. which definitely is not an option for me. so i'll grit my teeth, shed some tears, and try to get through it. and hopefully i'll still make it to King's, or any reasonable college in london.
unfortunately i don't get a choice of deferring my studies since placements in the schools are so competitive. so it means no gap year for me. which is fine since term starts in august for most schools.
there are so many places i want to be, shanghai,beijing,singapore,london,US. i want all of it. but i only have one choice, and the fear of making the wrong decisions overwhelms me. i have just about a week more before i send my applications, and each one could change my life drastically. i've made many mistakes in choices of schools, and i don't wish to repeat it over again.
I've waited a long, long time.
Why, why do I come here?
Seeking out the memories I hold in,
'Cause you put your spell on me,
Made me live in memory,
And im frozen in just the wrong time.till wednesday.
and then you'll be gone from my memories.
and i hope you listen to what i have to say.cos'it's my last shoutout to you.
and just maybe, you would change everything once again.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`2:31 AM]
-
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up
And I give up
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out
and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only onei can't get up when you're gone. so many nights,legs tangled tight.you're still here with me in my dreams.each night, i shut my eyes,try not to cry. how i felt before, i cannot forget. can you? but i promise, by wednesday, it'll be my final goodbye to you. and i'll stop falling into memories of me and you,of that beautiful somewhere,far away ,a place in time. and i will never allow you to take away what i have with him now. he's too precious to hurt, too precious to lose. so are you. but you never treasured anything enough. and maybe someday we'll have another chance, but i wonder if you'll ever remember me.
and i haven't shopped for 2 weeks. neither have i clubbed. think i'll hit cocolatte on wednesday. after everything's said and done one last time. to celebrate my liberation.
you're still my only one.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`5:05 AM]
-
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me
All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away
That since I lost you, I lost myself
No I can't fake it, there's no one else
I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
i'll be facing my inner demons on wednesday.
and after that, i'll bid you goodbye.
to my favourite friend,
HELLO CAPTAIN WONKYTONKS!haha.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`12:14 AM]
-
Thursday, August 25, 2005
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
i don't think i can ever be fixed.
i'm too broken.
and i still love you so.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`7:56 AM]
-
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
I'm dizzy from the shopping malls
I searched for joy, but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
and a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiatei haven't been posting photos for quite a while so today will be a photo entry.
but i'll keep it to a minimum cos' i'm feeling rather lazy.
my new pink gucci thing!
my 2 bouquets of flowers. the bigger one even had glitter on the roses. so cute.
lana cake!
bucket (2 scoops) of hei and haagen dazs.
chocolate cherry&rum cake! libby are you hungry?
lilac livestrong band!
harajuku baby. prissy's got the style that's wicked'
adidas by stella mccartney. the show went well, and it was pretty fun on the job!
jeans and a ribboned/rhinestone top.
the gorgeous living room to meet and greet the media, and where i made my debut performance as a serious pianist!
modelling the gym line. sleek lines and contours.
charmaine. :)
sisters. <3 it was so damn cold in the little i was wearing so i wrapped myself up.
the first items to go on sale.
i fell in love with this shoe. couldn't decide which colour to get so i got a white for mom, and a bronze for myself.
while sitting around for makeup and hair to be done, we asked for food. and food that was provided was raw carrot and zucchini sticks. which just further reinforced my notion that i should start eating healthy. but i was truly starving, and ended up gulping down loads of grapefruit punch and coffee and evian to stop my hunger pangs. which pissed the makeup artist off since my lippie kept sliding off. and then in the midst of changing into different outfits for the preview, i lost my spankypants ( i had to take them out since my clothes were tightfit), and danielle lost her bra. lyd lost her comb too. it was such a mess. we used so much sticky tape to keep clothes in place. it was daaaaamn painful when ripped off.
we talked about relationships while sitting around in the model room. chatted about our recent exes and failed relationships,listened to each other's woes, and cuddled into a group hug for mutual support. we're a rare breed, we overly-sentimental people.
my new friends! reporters from the new paper, wee teck and terence, who went gaga over the shoes i modelled. damn cute.
i haven't slept in 2 days, so my line of thought's rather shattered and out of place.
g'night y'all.
Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about you
It's just the way you move
The way you move me
I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away
This way
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`2:27 AM]
-
Monday, August 22, 2005
butterflies in my stomach. media from all over asia will be around to cover the event and my performance,
so if i make a big boo-boo, i'll never hear the end of it. somehow the pressure's double of those of the exams. and i thought i saw the worst of it all.
the pure insanity of a certain someone never fails to disgust me. maybe it's just me. or maybe it's you. why have you been reduced to such a pathetic state? but we both got what we deserved. and you know you can't deny that.
off for hair and makeup. and i'll be armed with a big bubbly smile to top it all off.
wish me luck.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`6:47 PM]
-
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, each one she passes goes - ah
When she walks, she’s like a samba
That swings so cool and sways so gentle
That when she passes, each one she passes goes - oohcompleted income distribution and the whole set of MCQs today. i'm rather pleased with my progress.
spent the whole night practising the pieces. i've been eating, sleeping and breathing jazz so much that it hurts. i think if i hear the girl from ipanema one more time i'll hurl.
the makeup artist says to have clean-cut,glossed-up features tomorrow. but i think i'll ask for sooty lashes and a pink barbie pout.for my hair, i just want it to be left alone, or tousled with waves. we'll see what happens backstage tomorrow. hot hot hot girls galore! hopefully it'll be plenty of fun.
i'm so tired i can hardly process my thoughts.
it's off for fly me to the moon now.
but I watch her so sadly
How can I tell her I love her
Yes I would give my heart gladly
But each day, when she walks to the sea
She looks straight ahead, not at me
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`10:01 PM]
-
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me chocolate mania!in full celebration of my fantastic music results, kept to my promise and bought haagen dazs and threw in awfully chocolate's rum&cherry cake,and their chocolate ice-cream hei for some pigging out at my piano teacher's place. coupled with crazy lana cake pigging out in the morning, i'm suffering from chocolate overload. such utter pure sweet bliss. and there's the chocolate choux that uncle looi's flying back from japan in awhile. and all my junkfood from LA. since he's a pilot and frequently flies to US and Japan, he knows exactly what i love to eat and he buys loads of them for me. especially my japanese sugar leaf puffs. i'm drooling just thinking of it. and after conducting a poll with the children in the house, everyone's come to an anonymous vote that awfully chocolate's rum&cherry cake's much better than lana's. i can't decide cos my tastebuds are just stuffed with chocolate. but i love hei. although i don't think it's as nice as haagen daz's belgian chocolate, hei's still rather yummy. pictures later.
i finally got to see my results today, and i must say, rather shocking really. it was the complete opposite of what i expected, and although i must say im pleased with the final outcome, i'm rather disappointed with the score for debussy's arabesque. and i really say,
THE BLOODY EXAMINER WAS SLEEPING THROUGHOUT THE EXAM. i don't understand the scores. and i think the marks do not tally with the well done he wrote. apparently we have very conflicting ideas. im talking about the scales,sight-reading and arabesque sections. i don't deserve such marks for the scales and sight-reading and the fantastic comments, and i definitely do not deserve such marks for my 3rd piece. he got it all wrong. but i guess, the final score still rocks. EVERYONE was beaming in pure joy. but somehow, im just not contented deep down. maybe i nitpick too much.
the a level results were out 2 days ago. to star*, CONGRATULATIONS! straight A's. i miss you girl, it's been a year since we've seen each other. i'll see you soon in london!
2 days to the showdown. i have exactly 1 day to master all my songs, and i'm still struggling desperately with the girl from ipanema. it's going to be broadcast over asia, so if i make a blunder, it means people from indonesia,brunei,hong kong,japan,malaysia,singapore,and many other countries get to watch me make a fool of myself. which of course will totally happen. and i have to look my best but i'm still stuffing my face eagerly with food. i just can't be bothered to diet.
i hate it when my privacy's breached.
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`8:15 AM]
-
Saturday, August 20, 2005
missed the prom tonight since i had another dinner to go to. i don't think it's such a big deal, because i think it's really clear that i can't stand a majority of the people in my school, and i guess it just makes sense that i spend my money elsewhere, as opposed to spending time with people i hardly know or don't like.and i have many appointments to dress up for over the month, so i guess prom won't really be a great excuse to buy a new dress.anyway, dinner was really really good. im bursting with food.
went over to azelea to pass daniel the lana cake. to my utmost horror, he was with CS and the other guys MUGGING. the entire table was covered with books, and they were ectually poring through them happily and making notes and penning essays. even the boys are mugging really hard. clearly this means something.
and i've always got a soft spot for clutches.i found a few cute ones that i really like.
i can't decide between the orange or pink.
sweet.
i wanted something different so i bought this.
i dont' know if i should buy it in another colour too.
i've got a new love for metallic colours but it's getting rather passe. but whatever rocks my boat really.
chocolate lana cake beckons. tahs.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`7:18 AM]
-
Friday, August 19, 2005
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start withoh how the heartache calls to me, calls to me.
I couldn't have fathomed that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myselfbut i'm getting tired of this.
and i'm determined to push out of this pain.
hope kills.
and everything seems so futile.
i'm so so tired of this merry-go-round.
I remember when you used to be mine
Way back when
I was too naive to love you right
But now if I only had the opportunity
I would do anything
Because my heart still believes
Maybe you could be mine again
Maybe we could make that dream for real
Like way back then
When love was yours and mine
Maybe we could bring it back to lifemaybe someday.
today i managed to stay a whole entire day in school without skipping any lessons except for chinese. which is a major achievement really.
and my seoul garden craving will finally be put to rest. MBS 6H 99' has answered my prayers.since we've all known each other since the ripe old age of 10, it doesn't matter if i pig out and stuff my face with disgusting oily MSG-laden food. and i get to see my darling cutiepie janicia again! it's been a long long long time since i've seen her. i miss all of them manymany. 8 years and we're still as close. can't wait to see them.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`5:45 AM]
-
Thursday, August 18, 2005
i swear, if she dares try it again, i will snatch her cellphone,wipe out her database, place her stupid little peewee fugly device on the grossly carpeted floor,and crush it under my pretty rabbit-fur Uggs. okay uggs are not worth ruining on a POS like her, so maybe i'll crush it under my tommy girl crystal charm flip-flops. either way, anything to stop her irritating nonsense.
me: so you know...-blah blah blah blah and all my nonsense-...
ashley: well it was your fault. you shouldn't have done it.
me: oh no it so totally wasn't. it's just that it's such a waste of time!
ashley: but you just have to do what you have to do. you don't really have a choice.
me: absolute rubbish. i'm doing what's best for me. they should be happy.
ashley: you can always try alterna...-RIIINNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!-
me: what's that? it's so loud.
ashley: oh that's the fire alarm.
me: oh my lord. did some psycho muslim terrorist invade your place? RUN!
ashley: that's just the flatmate cooking. -background screams and crashes- happens twice a week. each time she cooks, the fire alarm goes off. get used to it babe.
i don't think i should do any cooking in london either. there have been times where i've popped wrong items into the microwave unwittingly, and smoke starts billowing out, but there's no fire alarm in my kitchen so i usually manage to keep it a quiet affair.one day, i am so sure the microwave will explode and kill us all in the house. either that, or the flatmate will kill us all with her fire-alarm inducing cuisine.
i'm doing a sale of some bags and clothes that are brand new, or hardly used. up for sale are: a monogrammed dkny clutch in red($30), a suede coach clutch in fuschia($50), MAC makeup(glosses/concealer/blusher)($15,10,10), french kitty tee($20),brosproduct tank($10), ipod($220), gucci phonestrap($50), swarovski phonestrap($65), revlon concealer($5) and so on. items are in perfect condition. i'll even sell the dkny,coach,mac,brosproduct stuff at a lower price. it's just taking up too much space in my wardrobe. interested? e-mail me @ donatelurvetodanni@gmail.com for pics!
and the dreams and illusions have been pulled off,
and suddenly,
you're not so beautiful after all.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`7:13 AM]
-
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
happy birthday mommy!to the special woman in my life,
who's given me everything i've wanted,
and made me who i am today.
my mom's starting to act really weird these days.
me: how's the new hair? ah lian or what?
mommy: okay, better than the old one.
me: yah you know my hairstylist was from paragon, then he set up his own salon, and the salon's so big, but he's the only stylist, and there's only 1 customer at a time?and he only does appointments?
mommy: yah, i know. his name is kevin, and he's hainanese right?
me: huh?! how did you know?
mommy: -rolls eyes- please, you think i will let my daughter get her hair cut without checking up on who's the stylist first?
how she knows, i have no idea.
and she's also starting to act more like me.
me: where's the cartier watch? i thought you said you bought it?
mommy: NO! -sulks- your dad said i cannot buy. he hung up on me!
me: forget it, it's just a watch.
mommy: it's very nice okay, you will like it, it's pink! and it's the only one. your aunt bought it instead.
me: share it with her! she's your sister right? share things.
mommy: NO WAY!
and a few days later....
me: what's that red bag?
mommy: -nonchantly- oh the cartier watch.
me: i thought you said there was only one piece?
mommy: yup but they flew in another piece for me from HK. so now it's not the only piece.
me: but daddy said you cannot buy right?
mommy: he said i can't buy THAT piece, but he didn't say i cannot buy it's twin piece right? anyway i've charged it to his card. it's nice right?!
and so the list goes on.
everyday, i learn to appreciate every single thing she does. there are times i grapple with miscommunication and disappointment with her, but nevertheless she's been a great mom, albeit a rather weird one recently.
and as age catches up, there are times i notice the fine lines that have started to creep silently and edge it's place firmly on her face, and the things we talk about remind me that things are no longer the same as before.
but i love her all the same.
bought a new coach clutch today. it's suede brown with purple/bright pink trimmings. it's so pretty.:)
damn high from the whisky and brandy now. dad made me drink up to celebrate everything good that's been happening, and also because it's my mom's birthday.
cos' we both loved each other,
and i loved you endlessly,
how could you forget me so?
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`8:34 AM]
-
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
t'was an excellent day.the crazy sense of euphoria,
the screaming,
the running around,
the grabbing and hugging of friends,
the joyful tears that ran down my cheeks,
the big big biggggg beam on my face,
the flushed cheeks from all that joy
all came in exchange for
months of screaming,
crying,
sacrifices of my weekends,
books thrown out,
and so much more pain.
but i say,
it's all worth it.I PASSED MY PIANO EXAM AND I'VE GRADUATED!!now i can be your piano teacher.
it's my turn to torture little ones.
hur hur hur.
nothing can ever beat the sense of unadulterated happiness,
of that relief,
and of the happiness of those around that envelops you.
that sense of satisfaction that this was something you achieved by yourself,
from pure hard work,
and many sacrifices on your part.
i'm so happy,
so thankful,
words fail me.
daddy's sponsoring a haagen dazs party at my piano teacher's place to celebrate.
that's how happy he is.
lady luck's been smiling down on me.
upon thanking godma for her reccomendation, she told me that stella mccartney handpicked me, and she didn't have a part in it. apparently stella's very picky about the details, and everything last item was chosen by her. so i'm really flattered that she thinks i have what it takes.
and while reading my favourite bimbo's book at kino today, some lady from mediacorp approached me and asked if i had any training in drama. she wanted to cast me in some new chinese drama, and she thought i suited the role. but i earnestly told her that my parents wouldn't want to watch me on telly during dinnertime, so better not. but to be nice, i'm still meeting her tomorrow for i have no idea what for.
haven't photoblogged in awhile so just some random shots.
will upload more when i have the time.
i think i spoil my dog too much. i overfeed him, and i've been doing so for 2 years!
he has so much food we have to store it in such a huge bin that the store gave because they noticed we bought so much we needed proper storage for his rubbish.
crazy mugging and pigging out!
shopping.:) i did this damage in one night, save for the cartier. the gucci's a present from my mom. but i studied really hard so it was a reward really.
some random stuff i bought..
heels! bet you've never seen me in heels before. i bought flip-flops with crystal charms too! im becoming a shoe slut.
bought this in green.
sweats and tank top.
guitar bag! i think it's really cute. don't know if i should buy another in pink or purple too.
will show pics of all my new stuff soon.
and somehow, you just don't mean anything to this anymore.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`6:01 AM]
-
Sunday, August 14, 2005
having a blog means a lack of privacy. so today i shall blog in italian to prevent too many people reading into my innermost thoughts.
ho sognato che stavia ginocchi,come un santo che pregail Signor? mi guardavi nel fondo de gl'oc chi, sfavilla vail tuo sguardo d'amor. tu parla vie la voce somesa, mi chie dea dolce mente merce. solo un guardo, che fosse promessa... imploravi? curvato al mio pie.
Io ta ce vae col l'a ni ma forte, il desio tentatore lotto, ho provatoil martirioe la morte, pur mi vinsie ti dissi dino. mail tuo lab bro sfioro la mia faccia, e la forza del cor mi tradi. chiu si fliocchi, ti stesi, le traccia. ma sognato, eil bel sogno svani!
and i still wouldn't change it for anything in the world. you will always be a precious memory close to my heart. no regrets, and only wistfulness and uncertainty remain.
t'was a crazy, uneventful morning.
completed liquidity preference theory,monetary policy,investment,loanable funds theory,tranmission mechanism,liquidity preference,multiplier effect,income distribution and inflation today. managed to finish 30MCQs, 3 essays and 1 DRQ. it's amazing how much i can do in one morning when the need to study arises. will start on the prelim paper tonight, and i will attempt to study the french revolution a little more today.apparently my history notes must have somehow remained lodged in my brain, because mom says i mumble my history notes when im half asleep. nightly readings of napoleon appears to have worked it's magic.haven't started on A&C unfortunately.
for now, it's off to rehearsals and fittings for the stella mccartney show, and picking up the gown for the dinner.
and every night,you haunt me in my dreams.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`9:43 PM]
-
Saturday, August 13, 2005
it's funny how when things happen, the first person in question that comes to mind is always
me.
anyway.
i've decided to live like a hermit for the next 120931205901093 days and i will not be coming online,answering unnecessary phone calls, smses, flipping through fashion magazines,shopping,etc etc. the only reason why i come online is to check on the designs that he's s'pposed to come up with for my notebooks. i vow not to shop or do anything else online.
so much to do, so little time.i haven't been to school in 148162391949141 years, i'm so behind schedule no one would ever believe it. maybe it's because i follow my own revision schedule, which isn't very much to speak of, and the fact that my revision schedule and the school syllabus's schedule are entirely different that i feel completely thrown off. but once again, i am preparing for the A's, and not school prelims, so it shouldn't matter that much.
my mom says i never seem to have a plan when it comes to my life. i don't even know where i want to go after the exams. so many options, but i don't know where to start. and i don't want to make the wrong choices again. i don't have older siblings to give me advice, and those who do, may not necessarily give the advice i want. some say i should wait for my results to make a decision, but i feel if i don't know where i want to head to , i wouldn't have choice results to aim for. so far, my heart still leans toward china. uncle sam's been talking to college advisors in princeton, which was where i wanted to head to originally, but after visiting beijing, i feel china's where i want to be. dad says if i do get into fudan for law, i could live with him, but if i choose to be in beijing's conservatory, i have to live on my own. i want to stay in singapore and live in dorms with my friends, but i don't want to miss out on other opportunies i could have elsewhere.i don't even know what courses i want to major in. mom says business, dad says law/music, and i say journalism. but i'm definitely taking a gap year first before making a decision.
will finish econs today. 2 DRQs and several essays to do. im so backlogged that i don't even think i can catch up in time.
won't be blogging as frequently anymore.
and for now, it's just waiting for libs to come over and start mugging, and dinner later at equinox.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`10:14 PM]
-
for the diamond-loving mommy.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`1:17 AM]
-
Friday, August 12, 2005
t'was a wonderful happy happy happppyy day. :)went to kevin's to get my hair cut today. mom finally got so frustrated with the state of my hair that she grabbed a fistful of it, gave me a lecture on dead limp hair that's wiry and messy, and threw me money to go fix it. my hair just
refuses to listen. i've repermed it, but it just got worse and looked like dead stringy spinach after everything was done. so kevin chopped all my curls off, and now i have a heavily layered short bob. it's a simple easy-to-manage hairstyle, and he curled it after the cut to show me how i could change my style. i rather like it actually, i look happier and more alive, although it's such a boring hairstyle. but kevin knows what i really look for in a hairstyle, and he's practically my soulmate when it comes to hair, and he told me matter of factly that to achieve the hairstyle i wanted, i had to chop it all off first and let it grow back properly. therefore the heavy shattered layers. i didn't want thin wispy ends like i usually go for, because i want long lustrous tousled hair, so growing it out would be an issue if i thinned it. so i shall be a good girl, and stop doing anything to my hair, and leave it to grow. and i promise to stick to kevin for a long time more. it's been difficult to find a hairstyle who knows exactly what i want, and kevin's the only one who fits the bill so far. but i'm quite bored with this hair so maybe when mervyn goes back i'll go back and ask for a lil change.
i know. i'm fickle.
and i've got this wonderful wonderful wonderful designer to design stationery for me, along with my mom's birthday card. each individual has their own style, and i always believe it's rare to find someone who designs an item that's close to your preferences. but this guy is my soulmate when it comes to designs. it'll cost quite a bit, but for customised stationery, i don't mind. and my mom's birthday card is so gorgeous, she had better place it on display or i'd just cry! i'll show the designs for my files and notebooks on the blog when he e-mails it over. hopefully i can nudge him into doing a pencil case for me too.
had tea with jeff at royal copenhagen. scrumptious yummy tea. learnt to use photoshop,talked,shopped and met up with nicole to wish her a happy birthday. poor guy's starting to look really anorexic.
and to those whom i have appointments to go out with, always remember to msg me the day before because i don't keep track of my prior appointments and i tend to forget.
i can be really absent minded.
jeff: you know S is such a pervert, he's in great debt because he subscribes to maxim UK?
me: !!!! that POS! since when was he like that?
jeff: always!
me: shithead! no wonder each time my bikini photo's online, he pops a msg to say hi! C***byeeeeee.....
jeff: don't speculate ok! i didn't say anything. -snigger-
me: okay let's test him!
and so the practical prank begins.
and everytime i see you, it kills me so.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`5:53 AM]
-
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
for the oddest reasons, my blogskin has been wiped out, so i'm using the old one temporarily.
my entries have been increasingly bimbotic. i don't blog anymore about my whole rollercoaster ride of emotions that i experience each day anymore, and the daily train of thoughts that run through my mind because there are many people who read this blog, and i'd just like to keep all these private for now.
in the style of EF,
oooHHhhh im bloody sick! i went out at 10.30pm last night with the girls, and inhaling smoke for many days has made me sick.
j****r: baby you know i missed you and i really was a bigfuck in the past, i regret it!
me: huh? what are you talking about?
j: you know what i mean...
me: no i don't.
j: babygirl i still love you , and if i could turn back time i would never have been such a fool, i want another chance, i promise i'll treat you good...
me: FUCK OFF! crazy POS!
my throat's in so much pain i think i shall just get out and eat cold stone ice cream the whole day. i shall eat a whole shitload so i can rest happy. and fat.
can't wait to go to HK! i'm so excited about after A plans, travel, club and eat a shitload and have a lot of fun! LA, NY,Vegas,London,HK,Shanghai,Bangkok,and maybe Paris! i can't wait to go to Six Flags! whoooo hooo!!!
and that's my day in the most weirdest style of writing possible.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`9:08 PM]
-
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Where did it all go wrong?
The days go by and
Things get better
You hardened like a stone
To face the world alone
But the days go by and
Things get better
Exhausted of apologies
In search of something comforting
But the days go by and
Things get betterthe long weekend was amazing.
didn't really take many snaps cos i was just plain lazy.
my dad gave me a shitload of money! i only use cash because i've forgotten the PIN to my totally unused bank account, and i'm underaged to get a credit card. i never get sucked into the world of overdraft, which is a good thing, considering my tendency to overspend.
and i met up with one of my girlfriends, thomas!
i had cream of asparagus and roast chicken which tasted exactly like school cafeteria food. i took a few bites before rejecting it. the chocolate ice cream was also super yucky.
we walked everywhere. and we went down to carrefour to go grocery shopping. i personally prefer jason's, but we were running out of time so i just went along with it. grocery shopping's therapeutic.
my cherished girlfriend et moi!
i'm so psyched! found out there's cold stone available in singapore. it's this ice cream place that's super yummy, and they can customise flavours for you. back in los angeles it's a super big place and it's rather vintage like, and it's always packed. i used to eat it everyday in LA. but now it's available in singapore! i will eat a shitload everyday so i can die happy.
went to gotham penthouse yesterday, since i missed the last party and it was superbly good, or so i heard. the place was so damn small, half the people who turned up were turned away, and the lousy organisers oversold tickets. so people who only arrived at the usual timings (12am) couldn't get in since it was full house from 10.30. and we had to head down to zouk, which made it my 3rd visit to the damned warehouse in a week.i'm still convinced zouk's going down the drain. and somehow i convinced mervyn to come along and actually get on the dancefloor.got into bed at 6.30am.
reminiscing the past was sweet. and ironically, as much as i would like to say i continually avoid thinking about it because it hurts, i still have to admit that for every bad memory, there are a 100 good ones.
-
danni blows a raspberry right at you.
[`2:20 AM]
-